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Dreaming is Believing.... or is it?

Last night I decided I'd do a sleep meditation. I've been having a rough couple nights overcoming a cold, and instead of taking a few shots of NyQuil, figured I'd give something else a try. I'm not new to the meditation scene; I diligently wake up every morning, play one to two short guided spiels before I begin my day. I'm told ten minutes is all you really need to get started on the right foot. Plus, it's a lot easier to concentrate for a ten minute period than expecting to remain in the zone for longer. (I get it, I'm still practicing).

That said, meditating before sleep is intended to calm your mind and body, while allowing you to experience a seamless transition into the next 6-8 hours of idle time. (That's a whole other topic we'll have to discuss... laying idle, susceptible and vulnerable for just about half as long as you're awake. Pretty wild thought.) Anyways, this time I attempted something different. The general process was the same: I started with the same YouTube channel, headed into the playlists, scrolled down to "Meditations for Sleep", but instead of clicking on a "5 minute", "10 minute", or even "Feeling Grateful" medication, ya girl chose "Receive Messages in Your Sleep". Why? Why the hell not?

I've always been fascinated by dreaming. I'm even one of those people that have vivid, story-like journeys. Maybe that's where my fascination stems from. But what isn't intriguing about trying to comprehend the unimaginable that stirs up in your lifeless body as you lay on a mattress in a bedroom of a house on a rotating Planet Earth? (Again, so much more to unpack there.)

Now, don't get me wrong, I've tried this track once before. Granted, the woman even opens up explaining how it took her three weeks of listening every night before messages started popping up in her sleep. It had been a while for me; I can't even recall the timing of my first attempt. However, I don't know if it was due to a change in my environment, my willingness to fall asleep, or maybe even my desire to open my mind to different possibilities, but this time something clicked.

Like I mentioned, I've been overcoming a cold, so I've woken up the past few evenings with a tickle in my throat ready to cough my lungs out. Each night, things have progressively improved, shortening the longevity of coughing as well as the amount of instances. Yeah, I get it, TMI. Last night, I was thinking I was going to make it. Almost a full nights worth of uninterrupted sleep from the point of finally calming my mind. But alas, the tickle arose. The coughing came yet quickly subsided. After checking the time and realizing I still had a few more hours of sleep, I fell into a stupor. And what do ya know? The supposed message of my dream began.

Now, I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of it. Frankly, it's not the message that's important here, and honestly, I'm still trying to process whether or not it was a message. But I think that's my egotistical mind attempting to stop the connection between my action and the reaction that occurred. What I will say is that I've been going back and forth on a topic for a few weeks now, not totally sure how to feel. Granted, I'm not the only party involved and I questioned how others would act and more-so how those actions would impact me mentally, emotionally and physically. As the illustrious "they" always say, the message won't come in the format you are anticipating... and I certainly see that now.

I think having the message come to me in my dream left me with more questions than answers. It wasn't a clear cut Yes or No. I watched a situation unfold, and while the action somewhat pleased me, the emotions behind the action were unclear, as well as how I should feel from the individual's choice. At the end of it all, it just leaves me realizing how complicated or simple life and the mind can be. It seems to be more about how we look at something, and then, how much we believe what we see versus how far we choose to dig into it and make up our own stories. For now, I'm going to choose to remain neutral, focus on what I'm being shown and told in the real world, and speak openly and honestly about my feelings and emotions with others. That seems like a more fruitful path than creating a story or truth that may not be accurate, leading to grief that could easily be avoided.

And who knows, maybe the story will continue tonight in my dreams. Happy dreaming.

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